Sacrificing Doesn't Have to Feel Like Sacrificing...

I was having a conversation with my mom last night that inspired this topic. We were discussing living on a budget, and how everybody has to do it, some of us are just better at it than others. I think the hardest time to live on a budget, though, is right out of college.  For the first time you aren't surviving based on your parents' income, its based on your income. Some of your friends are making $50-$60K a year right out of school and some are still searching for a job living on a very limited "allowance."  When I first graduated I was at the bottom of the barrel when it came to my salary compared to my  friends and roommates, but I made it work, sometimes it was just more difficult than others.

I think the one thing I learned that was most important, was sacrifice.  I love to shop, I love to travel, I love to be pampered, and I love to go out to eat and to the bars with my friends, but I realized quickly that my spending money, after paying rent, bills and groceries, was not going to allow for all 3 of those things every month.  Some sacrifices were easier than others and trust me, I learned that the hard way.  Just ask my first roommates out of college, there were times I had to tell them I couldn't go to dinner or couldn't go to the bars because I couldn't afford it that month.  I had made a sacrifice, because maybe I had instead gone to visit a friend out of town or bought a new super cute outfit.  Either way, I couldn't have it all, and that's a lesson that is hard for all of us to learn.

I've had to make hard sacrifices too, some very hard.  I've missed some very good friends' weddings because I just couldn't afford a plane ticket and two nights in a hotel.  I'm lucky, because my friends have all understood.  I had some friends not make it to my wedding for the same reason and although I was sad, I was never upset, because not being able to do everything and be everywhere is just a part of life.

My husband and I have become very good at substituting our sacrifices so we don't feel like we are missing out on it all. We both love a good massage, but instead of going to the overly expensive spa in town, we go to the massage school.  It's at least half the price and you aren't allowed to tip!  They only have the most experienced students doing the massages and they still have all those great oils!  We can't go as much as we would like, but being able to afford it every once in awhile is worth it.  And shopping.  We LOVE to shop.  But we have yet to spend full price on pretty much anything we buy.  We give ourselves a budget, go to the stores we have coupons and deals for, and get more for our money.  And did I mention we budget?  We know we can't shop every weekend, but we also don't want to feel like we look frumpy, so we go just enough to keep our wardrobe looking nice, but not so much that we sacrifice anything big.  In the same area as massages, I really enjoy a nice manicure and pedicure every once in awhile...what girl doesn't?  But I've learned that $12-$50 a week isn't really doable at the moment.  Instead I treat myself to a new bottle of nail polish every few weeks.  Yes, I may get the $8 polish, but $8 once a month versus $45 is a big difference and I can still feel like my nails look great.  Can't paint your own nails?  Have some friends over and pamper each other.  The stores are full of fun things to help you do your nails, open a bottle of wine or 2 and have an inexpensive night in with the girls! Or maybe you can afford one or the other.  Rotate, one week get a manicure and the next a pedicure.  You still feel pampered, you just have to do half the work yourself :).

Travel is a big sacrifice.  That's one thing we have really had to cut.  Just this week I had to tell my best friend we wouldn't be seeing her in 2 weeks for a trip we've had planned for awhile.  She completely understood and reconfirmed why she is my best friend with that.  Because no matter what you think, your friends will understand.  They won't talk about you behind your back, they won't even snicker.  They get it, because like I said, they are budgeting too.  What we are doing is planning.  Our friends are getting married in San Jose in September, so we are planning that trip (which happens to coincide with our anniversary), we are making a list of places we want to go, people we want to see, so that we can start saving.  And when the time comes, we will be prepared.

Trust me, I'm no pro at this.  I was terrible at it until recently.  Maybe its maturity, the whole "I'm married now and my finances aren't my own anymore" mentality, but I like to think that my past mistakes are what make me better at it now.  Girls nights in with a bottle of wine instead of a crowded noisy bar, BYOB party at your place where everyone brings something to snack on and their favorite bottle of alcohol - you just provide the mixers and a couple snacks (see my  post on Costco and Sams!), Matinee movies and then dinner instead of dinner and then a late movie or eating in then going out to a movie, eating out at restaurants you have coupons for, pulling out a set amount of cash every month as your "fun money" and when that is gone, you're done, all of this is just a place to start.  Even asking for restaurant gift cards, or mall gift cards for birthdays or holiday gifts is a great way to go if that's what you enjoy.  Restaurant.com is a great place to look for gift certificates for yourself even!  They advertise spending $10 for a $25 gift card to spend at certain restaurants.  There, you just saved $15, now you can go to that movie or grab a drink after too :).  And trust me, even if you don't think your friends are budgeting, when you pull out that B1G1 coupon at your favorite restaurant, they will be just as excited as you, maybe they will even buy you an extra drink!